Hunting down the perfect Christmas tree

Even though we will not be at home for Christmas, because we are going to Ellyn & Jason’s, we still must have a Christmas tree. A couple years ago, I thought that since we would not be here on the actual day, we wouldn’t really need a tree, but it only highlighted for me that the kids would not be home [E & J do put on one fine Christmas and they know we have an absolute blast down there, but I think most Moms could relate to the idea that it is more fun to have them all come home.] and it was depressing. We do not believe in fake trees around here and you cannot, in my opinion find a good one that someone else has cut. You have to go and cut your own.

One aspect of going to cut your own tree, is that due to an increasing number of people who use fake trees, the cut-your-own-Christmas Tree business has suffered. This used to be an easy little sideline money maker for farmers, so it was not unusual for them to throw a few acres into Christmas tree production and of course the easier way to harvest them is to let people cut their own. But farmers retire and farms get sold to people who don’t know how to take care of Christmas trees. Not knowing how to take care of the trees, we have found, does not deter the new owners from selling the trees that are already there and this happened with our former favorite place, near Ithaca. Nice trees for years, then not great trees one year, then truly strange trees the next year.

So the year when Lauren and Steve were here, we decided to find a new place. One particular tree farm had ads and signs everywhere, so we decided to give them a try. To say that these were not great trees would be an understatement of epic proportion. After tromping over several acres and looking at every single tree thereon, most of which looked like this one, which could not be called a tree at all, but rather a Christmas Shrub or Christmas Mess, we found one that with some trimming and creative decorating could be made to resemble the usual yuletide icon. Since this was also the December with no snow, all of this was accomplished by tromping through mud. Still, it was a good time and despite the challenges we did enjoy ourselves.

We like new experiences though, so after several years of “interesting” trees, last year, we found Cole’s Christmas Tree Farm in a nearby town and it is like Christmas tree heaven. There are trees as far as the eye can see and most of them are perfect.

There are a few problem children scattered here and there.

For the most part though, the whole place looks like this, with row after row of all species and sizes, leaving you with the tough decision of which perfect specimen to choose.

There is always the one that got away – I’ll bet this was the mother of all Christmas trees, the likes of which we will never see again. Someone got to it before we did though, so we will never know for sure.

And because Larry is the person who has to cut down the tree, drag the tree down the hill, tie the tree to the top of the van, take the tree off the top of the van, trim the tree and put it in the stand and bring it in the house, this is the tree he wanted to get:

You will notice that Larry is holding an axe. Now all Christmas tree farms of course, provide their customers means with which to cut down the trees. Usually they are saws, with a degree of dullness guaranteed to prevent lawsuits, should the customers cut off their own limbs instead of the ones on the trees. Larry is a farm boy though and a carpenter; a dull saw is more annoyance than he is willing to subject himself to, so he brings the axe with us every year. And not just any axe – it is a big, double bladed axe. I don’t want to say that he looks threatening at all, but we don’t usually have to argue with the other customers over a tree. Indeed, we rarely see any other customers – just brief glimpses of them as they duck behind trees and snatch their children out of our way. Threatening though he may appear, I am not scared, so after a bit of negotiation, we agreed that this tree is probably a little on the small side.

Uhoh – looks like Lar is losing interest in choosing between 5000 nearly identical looking trees, so I best be making a decision.

This one!

A few swift swipes of the axe and the tree is ready to come home with us.

Not wasting any time at all, Larry drags the tree down off the hill and pays the Christmas tree man.

I was not able to get a photo of Larry tying the tree to the top of van, because I was helping a nice lady jam her tree into the back of her van, so that the trunk ended up in between the front seats. I can’t imagine how she got it back out of there, but I did my good deed for the day.

We will be back for this one in about 5 or 6 years!