After consulting with the resident cows, it was decided that they would have the best chance of convincing Fred and Bessie to give up the their new life on the wild side and come indoors where all sensible cows belong. I herded everyone out onto the porch to wait. 
It didn’t take long. Within an hour, Fred and Bessie let their curiosity get the better of them and they came up on the porch to investigate. All of the house cows pleaded with Fred and Bessie to join them inside. They regaled them with tales of the bovine merriment to be found within, including late night bacchanalias and an unending supply of Smarties. [believe me, I had no idea that any of this was going on, and I guess I need to check my emergency Smartie supply]
They seemed most drawn to Farmer Fred and his cow, Maud. This only makes sense since Farmers and cows do tend to go together. 
So, Flea should be relieved to know that fred and Bessie are now safely inside. They have asked to be left alone for the next few days, but have agreed to an interview some time next week. I also had to assure them that they could go out to enjoy the outdoors from time to time. And now, I have quite a situation on my hands, as my cows now insist that they too should allowed to wander freely if they wish. I am not sure what I will do if I need some lotion or a cookie while they are ranging freely in the great outdoors. I never anticipated this kind of trouble, but we will adjust. I guess you can’t keep them down in the kitchen once they have seen the porch!
Looks like they aren’t finding much they like to eat out there in the wilds of my hosta bed.
But, then as I go out to try and speak with them, off they go. I didn’t even see which way they went!
I guess I will have to resort to butter after all. Or as CM suggests, magnets. I am determined to make some progress today. The longer they stay out there, the less likely they are to ever agree to returning to the civilization of human company.
