As always, we try to stay on the cutting edge of new products, so here, for those times when your neck just seems too short, is the new and improved “Cervical Traction Kit”. 
You don’t have to go to one of those professional neck stretching places now – use it in the privacy and convenience of your own home!
Tried and tested by medical professionals in white coats with name tags and stuff:
Now – safe for women too!
Hmm. Thanks for the tip. But I think I’ll continue going to my professional neck stretching place. It’s such a blasty blast being there.
tee hee
My mom used that after a car accident to help re-align her spine. Not sure what other purpose it serves.
Where DO you find this stuff? Do they have anything that’ll lift the parts of the body that need it after bearing children? I’d look all kinds of ridiculous to make THAT happen!
Wow! Uh, where do I sign up!!! Here’s lots and lots of cash! LOL
Oh Lori! that was good, gave me a good belly laugh. I’d like to be taller, then I wouldn’t have to lose so many pounds. This contraption might work.
And where, again, is the cervix? Why is it called cervical?
If you have one of those things, I can never come visit you at your house. Fess up now.
If you have one of those things, I can never come visit you at your house. Fess up now.