A Mooooooooving Interview

It has not been easy to get these two settled down enough to make sense out of their utterances. They have been positively giddy ever since I discovered them up on the road and of course part of their agreement to come inside is that I not require them to stay inside, so half the time I can’t even locate them. They seem to have made friends with some of the birds out at the feeder during the time when they were outside and I often see them out discussing this and that with one of them.And yesterday, they spent some time hanging out with Tuxie-wuxie, in his favorite patch of sunlight on the windowsill.Finally this morning, as I walked into the kitchen, I spotted them engaging in one of their favorite activities. They are kissing cows after all.I suggested that they tear themselves away from one another and have a snack. Some butter perhaps? I thought maybe if they were all full and comfy, they might slow down for a few minutes.Then before I could even get in a single question, they were asking me about the new grill we just got yesterday! Like what did we use it for and what are these “steaks” that they heard someone mentioning?I finally got them calmed down by explaining that steaks grow on trees and that grills are used exclusively for cooking things like potatoes, pancakes and fish sticks. [We may have to stick to a vegetarian diet for the next week or so.] Mentioning pancakes made Fred and Bessie curious and after I described them, nothing would satisfy those bovines until they got to try some. Fortunately, sapping season is just now past and we have some fresh syrup to go with our flapjacks.I’m afraid they will not be contented with Mrs Butterworth’s after this. The next thing I know, they are over in the livingroom where they ran afoul of Godzilla Baby!Fortunately for Fred, Bessie bravely stood her ground and demanded that GB let him go.She was aided in her rescue by GB’s big brother who declared “I wuv these cows!”

It became clear that I was going to get no place fast with this interview, so I decided to go right to your questions.

Ashmystir asks:
Does chocolate milk come from brown cows?
Bessie: Nooooooooooo! Moooooooooo! Chocolate milk comes from chocolate! Chocolate! Like this stuff in the picture. It is SO yummy. Fred doesn’t get it, but chocolate is one of my favorite things. He got annoyed with me because I kept insisting that we stop for some on the trip east, but it was worth it!

The Empty Nest asks:
I have a question for Bessie. “Got Milk?” heh heh
Bessie: I have had milk before, because I had a calf, but what many humans don’t realize is that we wean our calves and then there is no milk. Unless we belong to a farm and then we have milk until we get pregnant again. Cows on a farm do this over and over – wears a body out, let me tell you!

Ellyn asks:
My question is simple. What’s with the magnets on your noses? Don’t they get in the way when you are eating and drinking? I know that many watering troughs are metal. Do you ever worry about drowning?
Fred: That is an excellent question. We do have to be careful about such things and as you can see from this photo, we are careful to only drink from plastic things. We have to watch for a lot of things actually – walking around the kitchen for instance can be quite hazardous. There is nothing more irritating than spending all night with your nose stuck to the toaster, hoping some one will notice you there before they pop their bagel in and turn it on.Flea asks:
This is what I want to know – why did they leave home without telling me? And please let them know that Perry and Prissy have been up to some pretty wicked hijinks in their absence. Bad pigs. And, do the cows want to go to Connecticut?

TSannie also wondered about this, guys: Why O why did you leave home, Fred & Bessie????? It was good there. And you worried Flea!! WHAT WERE YOU TWO THINKING????????? NAUGHTY!Fred & Bessie: Honestly, there was no huge reason why we left. We had no idea that it would cause such a commotion, even clogging up the whole internet with so many people checking for updates on our whereabouts. Can’t two full grown cows decide to see a little of the world if they want to? That is why we hesitated to come inside once we got here in NY – we did not want to be tied down anymore! We need to spread our wings, just like anyone else. Well, not our wings. We are cows, so we don’t have wings. And we can’t spread our hooves either or we would fall down. You get the idea though. Cows need their space – I guess that is our central message. And we can’t be held responsible for anything those silly pigs decide to do.

Mental P Mama asks:
Do the cows want to come to Connecticut? [Flea of course asked this same question – I wonder why?]
Fred & Bessie: We have looked at a map and Connecticut seems very doable – about a 7 or 8 hour trip, depending on where you are. Are there other cows in Connecticut? How about butter?

Lori asks: Are the rising gas prices affecting your travel plans?
Fred & Bessie: They didn’t affect us on the way out because we hitched rides and the drivers bought their own gas. Now that we have the truck though, it might be a concern. Being small, it gets very good gas mileage though, so we are hoping we will have enough from the sale of our t-shirts and stuff to finance the trip.

Dr.John asks:
Are those wonderful bags are made out of cow hide?
Fred: Cow hide? Cow hide? You mean like from…… How can anyone ever think about such a thing??? Moooooooooooooo!
That more or less concluded their cooperation – they were off into the shade garden before I could get another word out of them. I did notice them down among the Lego people several times this week, so there may be a story in that – stay tuned to see what I can find out.