The real me in 31 easy questions

I filched this from Flea, who filched it from someone else. Go ahead & put it on your blog too – leave a comment to let us know and we will all come and find out about the real you.

1. If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
That he must be smoking crack.

2. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
I have never flown in a plane. Or in anything else either.

3. What did the last text message you sent say?
“wow!”

4. What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex?
A great and abiding admiration for me.

5. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
To figure out everything about my new camera, so that I can quit taking pictures that look like I accidentally hit the button while I was taking off the lens cap.

6. Shoe size?
10, but I think it may have to go up 1/2 a size soon. Aren’t your feet always growing? Or is that your nose? My nose doesn’t wear anything though, thank heaven, so I don’t have to get bigger ones.

7. Been to Mexico?
I have been to Mexico though I don’t have a very clear memory of most of the trip. My parents read this blog, so we won’t go into details.

8. When is the last time you had a massage?
A real massage, it has been years. A good backrub – in December when Lauren was home. She is the best back rubber ever.

9. What was the last TV show you watched?
The news. We watched “3:10 to Yuma” last night. It was good and I don’t want to give too much away except to say the general stores in the west certainly must have done a brisk business selling shovels.

10. What are your plans for the weekend?
It’s only Monday so I am not sure, but I am sure I will be able to find a way to totally waste it somehow.

11. If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY what would you say?
Yes of course. And I think he would ask, though he might insist on a pre-nup this time, outlining a few key areas on which we do not see eye to eye.

12. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
1.One of those cooler thingies from Sam’s Club for putting cold food in.
2. An ice scraper of epic proportions, because you need one of those here. It has a telescoping handle so that you can reach the whole top of the van plus a broom and two kinds of scrapey parts.
3. A drop cloth sort of thing that is supposed to go under plants and other gardening stuff so as not to get the rug dirty. I usually remember it right after I have everything already loaded in there.
4. A dog leash.
5. I am certain there will be some junk of Larry’s in there because his truck is in the shop and he is using the van. He always leaves something behind when he drives my car. The floor of his truck has junk piled level with the seat.
6. There was a green pepper back there that had rolled out of a grocery bag, which I fortunately found before the temperature outside rose enough for it to thaw out – that would not have been good.

13. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
It is only 7:40 right now, but at 8 I will probably be drinking coffee and reading email.

14. If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be?
Larry won’t even let me date, never mind marry someone. If I could get away with it without him knowing, it would an extremely elderly, obscenely rich celebrity with no family, one foot in the grave and very poor balance.

15. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Maybe that time I was in Mexico, but I can’t remember for sure.

16. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Chocolate. Even chocolate Tastee-Freeze is good.

17. What is the last sporting event you watched?
We watched some of a couple different football games recently. The only sports I watch very much would be Mets baseball. We will watch the Superbowl, but mostly as an excuse to eat stuff I really should not be eating.

18. Ever go camping?
Yes, but not for a long time.

19. Last phone call?
My friend YR who comments here from time to time. We solved all the world’s problems, so the rest of you can take it easy for the week.

20. Are you allergic to anything?
I am officially allergic to aspirin and penicillin. I am also allergic to hay that needs to be unloaded [Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeen Acres is the plaaaaace for meeeeeee] and a lot of other plants like huge fields of sweet corn that need picking. I actually am allergic to those things, though there are those who are extremely suspicious of the convenience of my being allergic to things I hate to do. I call it very lucky.

21. What is one thing you have learned about life recently?
That an alarming number of people do Google searches for old women in underwear. It scares me.

22. What do you do at work?
I talk to people and then write about the conversations. And I get paid for it – sweeeeeeeeet!

23. What is your mom’s name?
Bobbie Jean. I don’t think she is very fond of it but I think it is cute. She was born in Alabama. Her older sister was named Jimmie Mae, also a lovely southern name. Both names are far better choices than Candy Barr, the name of a girl who lived on the same street as we did growing up.

24. Ever cried for no reason?
I almost never cry. Seriously, I can’t remember the last time I cried about anything.

25. Can you do the Crank Dat dance?
You start and I will join in.

26. What is your favorite color to wear?
Green is my favorite color of anything.

27. What is the longest plane ride you have ever been on?
They have all been of exactly the same length.

28. What is the longest road trip you have ever taken?
The longest recently was down to South Carolina in 2002 for Lauren’s graduation from Boot Camp, with a stop in North Carolina to get Ellyn and Jason. We also drove to the beach in North Carolina so we could stand in a real, actual hurricane, just like those guys on the weather channel. I was picking sand out of places I didn’t even know I had for days afterward.
The longest trip ever was hitchhiking to California in 1974.

29. What are your turn-offs?
Cleaning the refrigerator.

30. What was your last alcoholic beverage?
A glass of wine.

31. What are you craving right now?
It is too early in the day for me to be craving anything. I want coffee and I have some, so I am good.