You aren’t from around here are you?

I’ve been having fun with Facebook and connecting with people I had completely lost track of. I noticed that one of my old friends belonged to a group called “Things You Understand if You Live in Upstate NY”. After reading their manifesto, I had to join and I thought I would present it here for your edification. This list has been altered to fit many different locations I know and this one is considerably edited to suit my own experience.

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor. And this of course.

2. You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one. “That’s my uncle – he’s not home right now though, so you should wait to call him later.”

3. You measure distance in hours.

4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once. In the same day even.

5. You often switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.

6. You drive at 55 mph through 10 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching. See #11

7. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events. Yes and I’m married to one of them.

8. You install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked.

9. One of your neighbors constantly has bonfires. What can he possibly be burning now?

10. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the supermarket at any given time.

11. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

12. It takes you 2 hours to go to the store for one item even when you’re in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.

13. At least 6 people that you see a day have beards and stains on the front of their shirt. And that’s just the women.

14. Cows are just part of the scenery. Some of my best friends are cows…

15. The smell of freshly spread cow manure doesn’t bother you. That fresh country air!

16. Getting “dressed up” means tucking your shirt into your jeans and putting on clean work boots. That darned Larry again!

17. You know what 4-H is.

18. You ever went to a party that was held about 20 miles down a deserted dirt road. We live 20 miles down a deserted dirt road.

19. You scheduled parties around the schedule of different police officers since you know which ones would bust you. With 3 kinds of cops in our town, we had to plan very carefully.

20. You could never buy cigarettes cause all the store clerks knew how old you were. Bertha didn’t care how old we were.

21. When you did find someone old enough to buy smokes for you, you had to drive down country backroads to smoke them. Those weren’t cigarettes

22. Your car is always filthy from the dirt roads. Don’t fight it – best to buy a dirt colored car.

23. You decide to walk for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask you if you need a ride. My neighbors all think I am crazy anyway – they may be right. They love me though and I love them right back.

And just to demonstrate the practicalities of living out here – yesterday, I was thrilled to receive this box from L.L. Bean, which contained my new winter collection of footwear:I’m all set for whatever may come now, but I bet Mental P Mama won’t be featuring this photo on her blog anytime soon!