{"id":4586,"date":"2010-07-05T15:10:44","date_gmt":"2010-07-05T19:10:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dlynz.com\/?p=4586"},"modified":"2010-07-05T15:10:44","modified_gmt":"2010-07-05T19:10:44","slug":"riley-and-the-4th-of-july","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/dlynz.com\/?p=4586","title":{"rendered":"Riley and the 4th of July"},"content":{"rendered":"

Before it got up to Ninety-eleven and a half today, when\u00a0I was sitting on the porch, enjoying a nice cup of coffee, I realized someone was staring at me.<\/p>\n

Me: Can I do something for you?
\nRiley<\/span>: Yes. May I borrow your phone?
\nMe: My phone? You want to borrow my phone? Why?
\nRiley<\/span>: I need to make a call – why else would I need a phone?
\nMe: I don’t even try to guess these things anymore. Pray, tell – who do you need to call?
\nRiley<\/span>: I want to call the cops.\"\"Me: The cops? Why would you call the cops?
\nRiley<\/span>: I want to call and report those people over there.
\nMe: Those people are our neighbors – why would you call the cops on them?
\nRiley<\/span>: Every year, it is the same thing. On July 4th, they spend hours, setting off fireworks. I don’t like fireworks.\"\"Me: Well I’m sorry about that, but you can’t call the cops, buddy.
\nRiley<\/span>: Fireworks are illegal in the state of New York. I looked it up! Those people should be in jail, I think. It’s just not right.
\nMe: It is a fairly minor crime, really.
\nRiley<\/span>: It’s not minor to me! Fireworks scare the crap out of me!\u00a0 They are illegal, and they shouldn’t set them off, and the cops should come and arrest them. \"\"Me: I can see why you are upset, but there is not point in calling the cops now – they aren’t setting off fireworks anymore, because it is morning now.
\nRiley<\/span>: You people – you always stick together.
\nMe: Sorry – it is probably over now, until next year.\"\"Riley<\/span>: I hate the 4th of July.\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Before it got up to Ninety-eleven and a half today, when\u00a0I was sitting on the porch, enjoying a nice cup of coffee, I realized someone was staring at me. Me: Can I do something for you? Riley: Yes. May I … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/dlynz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4586"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/dlynz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/dlynz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dlynz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dlynz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4586"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/dlynz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4586\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4592,"href":"http:\/\/dlynz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4586\/revisions\/4592"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/dlynz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dlynz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dlynz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}